I Know Him

 first of all, why i wanna type here instead of writing on the book as my journal? well im lazy to write. actually i have intention for paperless but honestly writing is the best. like your hand is moving with the pen and let it out. is it same as typing? im not sure. but i like typing here because it feels good and my fingers are also moving right? 

i know my ex. i know how his behaviour, i accepted his flaws. his good and bad. but until now, he is fucking senile. always forgot something. duh. something not like manageable in his life. and i realize somehow i am like his mom. arrange here and there. lol goodluck bitch for taking him from me. you take my problem not my man. haha. 

i cant say a bad thing always about him. he has a good attitude somehow but when i realize it is more redflag honestly. maybe because im in love so much and i denied his redflag which i have this thought, it is okay. it takes time for him to change. soon he will realize with his behaviour blablabla. nope. it does not change. unless he wanna change by himself which maybe he changes for his new bitch. lol. 

that bitch know he has a wife. i wish you will feel the pain how i feel. lol same goes to my ex. maybe it is not happening to you yet but anytime will happen to you soon. i believe that. or maybe in future you will be doing great which i cant change your path. if it says that is your future. be it. im happy then. even you are in painful, i would say yea it is good how you know it feels the pain.

now i am so boring. i dont know what to do. i miss my family. but at the same time i am afraid to meet my family. why? maybe because of this anxiety i guess.